


Oh, boy, you're starry eyed

by sunandoceanblue



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, finn is grumpy, its just fluff, poe preaches hope and whatnot, poe wants to cheer him up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 21:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7137899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunandoceanblue/pseuds/sunandoceanblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Finn,” Poe says fondly, reverently, “you won’t get better by being bitter. You need to lighten up.”</p><p>(Finn is grumpy and full of emotions and Poe loves and and shows him why he should have hope)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, boy, you're starry eyed

**Author's Note:**

> So I finally wrote FinnPoe!! This just flowed out of me. I guess I wanted to just take a break from Kylux. 
> 
> This is actually dedicated to [that-vicious-vixen](http://that-vicious-vixen.tumblr.com/) not just for the positivity day but for the inspiring video she posed that honestly had me teary eyed. 
> 
> The title is a line from Starry Eyed by Lana Del Rey.

_It doesn't matter what they say_  
_Let's go do it anyway_  
_'Cause you and I have an undying kind of love_  
_You can be mine, I'll be yours, c'mon, baby_

_\--Lana Del Rey, Starry Eyes_

* * *

Recovery sucks.

You’re not allowed to do any sort of strenuous activity. You have to sleep for a certain amount of hours. You have to do so many damn stretch routines to help your muscles recover.

Finn feels like he might be going stir crazy. It’s only been two weeks.

Then again, anywhere is better than the medbay. At least Poe’s apartment has open windows.

Finn doesn’t like feeling he’s a burden. Like he’s slowing the world down. He doesn’t like the stop/start feeling, the one step forward, two steps back approach that life has set him on. His days consist of the same thing, in and out. At least when he was a Stormtrooper, he had more of a weekly schedule.

He shouldn’t miss it. He doesn’t. He’s just being stubborn and he knows it.

The morning is spent showering and eating breakfast with Poe before he hurries off, and then he has his stretches and all too soon he’s left with another long day ahead of him. He hates how many holo-dramas he’s gotten addicted to. But he has to find out what Cara’s reaction is going to be to Reven’s affair with Thomann. Gods. What has become of him?

Poe comes back at noon. Sometimes he brings BB-8 with him. But this time, he just brings a stunning smile and a small white box.

“I brought you some donuts,” he crows cheerfully.

Finn stares at the box. “What are they?”

“Donuts, my friend, will be the reason why you’ll be glad you joined the Resistance.”

“I’m not really hungry.”

He receives an eye roll and Poe pushes the box towards Finn. “They’re great. You’ll love ‘em.” He chuckles. “I can just picture the way your face will light up. Something like this.”

Poe pulls a face, eyes wide and smile huge. Finn stares.

“You don’t have to be so damn happy on my behalf, you know.”

Poe shrugs a shoulder, setting the box on the table. “Well, I want to. It’s a nice day out. Enough to put anyone in a good mood.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Finn mutters.

“Oh, come on, sweetheart, cheer up,” Poe says, turning to Finn and rubbing his shoulder soothingly. “We can go for a walk later. Soak up some rays.”

Finn’s frown deepens. Rey. She still hasn’t returned. What if she never does? In the Order, she would have been pronounced dead long ago. Well, she would have been had she not been keeping in touch with the Resistance. But just because she keeps in contact doesn’t mean Finn doesn’t ache for her presence. There’s no one quite like your first friend. No one quite like Rey.

Poe must have caught on to what Finn is brooding about because he says, “Why don’t you try a donut on Rey’s behalf?”

Finn wonders if Rey tried donuts. Poe told Finn that he hung out with her in the few days she spent in D-Qar before she left with Chewie. A part of Finn is a little jealous that Poe probably got to witness Rey do so much, try so much for the first time. He’s glad they befriended each other but it’s disheartening he missed out on it.

When Poe cups his face Finn realises he never answered. Poe arches a brow, silent as he studies Finn.

He leans in for a kiss.

Kissing Poe is something Finn thought would feel foreign. But instead, there was familiarity, a taste he couldn’t quite place and a memory that never belonged to him. Surely not in this life. The feeling, the memory, is old and faded but fond. Something he’ll never pin but will always linger in the back of his mind. In his very soul.

Finn kisses back without thinking. It’s something he will never need an order to do.

It lasts for about a minute. Or maybe it didn’t; maybe it lasted for hours. Perhaps if he couldn’t see the position of the sun he might have believed that.

Poe eventually grins against Poe’s lips, drawing back and resting their foreheads together. “So how about those donuts?”

Finn should just say yes. But he still hesitates. It can’t just be easy as smiling and letting himself enjoy the little things, can it?

“Finn,” Poe says fondly, reverently, “you won’t get better by being bitter. You need to lighten up.”

“ _Lighten up?_ ” Finn repeats incredulously. “I was almost killed by that psychopath with a saber—I’m lucky I’m even able to walk!”

“Yes!” Poe counters, too enthusiastically in Finn’s opinion. He steps back and points at Finn. “You’re able to walk—you’re _alive_ and the sky is bright and the planets are still spinning.”

“Not in the Hosnian System.”

It’s horrible for him to say. And he regretted it instantly. He never realised what a pessimist he could be until he was exposed to the New Republic.

Poe’s dazzling smile falters. Hell, it feels like all the lights in the room darker. It’s Poe’s reaction that makes Finn regret his comment the most.

“No. Those planets will never spin again...” Poe runs a hand through his curls, blowing out a breath before smiling encouragingly. “But we need to remember them. Acknowledge them. Fight for them forever and we can’t let up. We _can’t_ let the Order think they’ve ruined us. We can’t let all this be for nothing—”

“But it’s gone!” Finn’s voice is loud enough to make Poe flinch. “The entire system! Gone—because one person gave the order to fire. All those lives, the culture—it all just... Could you not feel the way it hurt the galaxy? How silent it became...”

The room becomes just as silent. Poe stares. Finn doesn’t know what the expression it; it looks like he’s conflicted, deep in thought, polishing each and every word in his mind over and over before he dares to open his mouth.

You can pinpoint the exact moment he decides to just speak his mind. He always seems to be good at just improvising. Winging it.

“When my mother passed, I realised no amount of anger or sadness was going to bring her back. I knew she would want me to remember her, love her, miss her, but to live my life because of her influence not in spite of what happened to her.” Poe’s got this far off look, smiling adoringly at nothing. Finn senses a warmth but it’s not his own. It’s not even Poe’s. It’s something far away, long ago. Poe’s attention shifts back to Finn. He’s got the galaxy in his eyes and nostalgic laughter in his smile. “She’d have liked these donuts, too, you know.”

Finn wishes he knew his mother enough to miss her. Remember her just enough to find her. His father, too. He wonders if it’s pessimistic or optimistic to think about them. Send them good thoughts, in this world or the next.

He ends up asking, “Would she have liked me too?”

Poe chuckles and it makes Finn’s knees weak.  “Yeah, sure would have, buddy.” He gestures at Finn. “I mean, who wouldn’t? She’d have loved your heroism. Your courage.”

Courage. Finn wants to deny it. But then he thinks back to the forest. The fear spiking up and up and up. Adrenaline drowning out the cold as they scrambled to the ship. And there he stood. Eyes on fire, teeth bared. Monster. Dangerous. Absolutely mad.

Finn stared death in the face and charged right at him, without a second thought.

And he’s alive.

“Can I have one of those?” Finn points to the box of donuts, eyes flickering to Poe’s.

“Yeah, sure thing,” Poe replies, plucking the box from the table and offering it up.

Finn assesses them. They’re glazed and sticky looking. The Order would never approve of such a treat.

He reaches for of the smaller ones, tucked away in the corner of the box. He doesn’t want to come off as hesitant or doubtful, so he takes a nice, big bite.

In hindsight, the sickly sweet smell should have alerted him of the sickly sweet taste. A surprised sound escapes his lips and he almost chokes. “Shit, they’re _sweet_.”

Poe laughs, loud and bright and beautiful. “Man, we gotta get you used to sugar.”

Finn scrunches up his nose and fights the urge to spit out the overwhelming favour. He swallows quick and takes a smaller, more hesitant bite. It’s better the second time. He’s expecting it. Maybe it’s a little too much for his taste. But he’ll eat it all the same because he feels it’s something that will come to him in time. Like so much already has.

“Damn, these are great, Poe,” Finn replies, enthusiasm creeping into his voice as he takes yet another bite. And the more he chews, the more he means it. Before long he’s asking for another one.

“I knew you’d like them, babe,” Poe says, smiling that fond smile as he opens the box for Finn once more.

It’s a warm, lovely day. Cold weather and metal walls all but forgotten. Who knows when the Jedi Killer will strike again, what hideous weapon the Order is going to create next. Today, now, here, he’s alive, he’s with Poe and he has donuts.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come chill with me on [Tumblr!](http://thesunandoceanblue.tumblr.com/) (It's mostly Kylux tho so heads up)  
> Beta'd by [demideerling](http://demideerling.tumblr.com/)


End file.
